Cross + Culture
The 7 Sayings: Relationship and the Family of God
Ground Rules
Be honest.
Speak in "I" statements about your own experience, not generalizations about groups of people.
Some of our experiences and opinions may conflict with another's—be aware that everyone has a right to share hurt or hope without our judgments. Listen to understand, not to correct or convince.
Let’s be more about connection than competition. This is not a space to argue who is right but to wrestle faithfully with faith and our experiences.
And please, what's shared here stays here—honor each other's vulnerability.
What are we doing here?
This is a time to share and wrestle together. No one expects a quick fix or a ‘sweep it under the rug’ approach to real questions.
The Church is meant to be a family—a kindred relationship. But we all know family is complicated. Family can wound us deeply. Family can also hold us when we're falling apart. Tonight, we're going to wrestle with what it means for the Church to be family—the beauty and the ugliness—and we'll meditate on Jesus, who looked past his own pain to see and love others.
“Woman, behold your son; son, behold your mother.” - John 19:26
Family Dynamics
Church Experiences
Where have you experienced the Church as family—either beautifully or painfully?
Where has the Church failed you as family?
Where has the Church embraced you as family?
Personal Experiences
In your family of origin, what relational tensions or patterns show up? (e.g., conflict
avoidance, scapegoating, favoritism, etc.)How do those same patterns show up in the Church?
What would it look like for the Church to be family well—not perfectly, but faithfully?
Looking at Jesus
Read John 19:16-27
Consider what’s going on here. Jesus is dying. And yet he looks beyond his own agony to see his mother's grief and his disciple's loss. He gives them to each other. He creates family. I find it remarkable that he’s in this kind of pain, but he’s able to see his mother and his disciple and realize they need each other.
What does it cost Jesus to look past his own pain and attend to others in this moment?
Have you ever experienced someone seeing you clearly in the midst of their own suffering? What did that feel like?
Journaling Questions
Where do you need to look past your own pain or preoccupation to see someone in your family—biological or church family—more clearly?
What would it look like to receive family in the way John received Mary? (Not "I'll help you" but "You're mine now; I'll take you in.")
Is there anyone who God might be asking you to embrace as family—even if it feels costly or uncomfortable?
Prayer
For the Human Family
O God, you made us in your own image and redeemed us through Jesus your Son: Look with compassion on the whole human family; take away the arrogance and hatred which infect our hearts; break down the walls that separate us; unite us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and confusion to accomplish your purposes on earth; that, in your good time, all nations and races may serve you in harmony around your heavenly throne; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.
Commissioning
This week, pay attention to where you see—or fail to see—the people around you as family. Notice when you're so focused on your own pain or preoccupation that you miss someone else's need.
Maybe ask yourself: Who is Jesus giving me to? Who is he giving to me?